An Interview With Queen Vashti

Gir’friend to Gir’friend

I believe that people remember me disrespectfully. For three thousand years, people have read into my story rebellion and punishment; and have somehow missed the real ideology. Truth, honor and conviction are what drove me to revolution, not arrogance and conceit. I’m glad you asked me for this interview because I want to narrate my own epic. Then, maybe, someone will understand the trials I overcame were not just for me, but for the disenfranchised people all over the world and for all time. My expression to the world says, “Just because there is a predator in our midst is not a reason for me (or you) to become a victim.”

Before I give the account of bigotry and egotistical buffoonery, let me first qualify my statements by saying that my family has been part of the royal Babylonian court for no less than four generations before me and several generations after me.

You may even remember my great grandfather, King Nebuchadnezzar. He was the very same man who destroyed the first Temple at Jerusalem, threw Daniel in the lion’s den and put Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego into the fiery furnace down in Babylon. After their Lord saved the three Hebrew boys from the fire, my great grandfather declared a law vowing that to even speak badly about their God was a crime punishable by death.

My father, King Belshazzar, behaved pretty outrageous himself, forgot those old declarations of Nebuchadnezzar and partied with the vessels and utensils stolen from the Hebrew temple. Then hand writing mysteriously appeared on the wall. These handwritings were interpreted by Daniel and that very night my dad was killed in the midst of much bloodshed and looting in the palace. Amidst all the confusion, I was unaware of the death of my father and ran to his quarters where I was captured by Darius.

Darius presented me to his son, Ahasureus (Xerxes) as a wife. Not a wife as you know it, but as a piece of property – part of his harem. No doubt my status as Belshazzar’s daughter, made me seem a worthy prize.

Part of my story is chronicled in your Tanakh and/or Holy Bible, in the place where the Hebrew girl, Esther, is made queen in my place and she thereafter was revered for saving her race from the hands of a great deceiver. I’m not disputing Esther’s heroism, but I am saying that there would be no Queen Esther had I not done my part. George Bush had Ronald Reagan, Jesus had John The Baptist and Queen Esther was preceded by me, Vashti.

I think it’s . . . interesting that HIStory seems to have overlooked MYstory. My story has all the tantalizing ingredients: an ancient story of court intrigue, deception, miscommunication, drunken sex parties, assassination plots, and a foolish king. My story is full of “isms”. I, too, dealt with extreme isms like racism, sexism, and alcoholism. These isms have wreaked havoc particularly and consistently on womenfolk for thousands of years. Institutional isms were well-established then, just as they are now. Yes, there is, indeed, much to say.

This happened in the third year of the reign of King Xerxes, his family called him Ahasuerus but I prefer the name given him by the Spartans, Xerxes. The year was 483 BCE.

Xerxes, idiot that he was, governed 127 provinces extending from India to Ethiopia, which in those days, and from my perspective, was the entire known world.  Xerxes’ capitol was at the fortress in a place called Susa.

To celebrate the expansion of his empire, King Xerxes gave a six month banquet. The celebration was designed as a tremendous display of the opulent wealth and glory of his empire. He invited all his princes, officials and military officers of Media and Persia.  

When that feast was over, Xerxes gave a seven day banquet especially for all the palace servants and officials – from the greatest to the least. This second banquet was held in the courtyard of the palace garden.

The courtyard was decorated beautifully with blue and white linen sheers, fastened with purple ribbons on the silver rings that were embedded into the marble pillars. Gold and silver chaise lounges stood on mosaic pavement made of marble, mother-of-pearl, and other precious stones.

Cocktails were served in gold goblets of many designs, and the wine flowed abundantly, just as the Xerxes had ordered. Those who wished could have as much as they pleased. His only restriction on the drinking was that no one should be obligated to take more than he wanted.

At the same time that the men were drinking themselves into a stupor, and only God in heaven knows what else, I gave a party of my own. One in which the women of the palace were invited. I felt that we needed a group support system because I anticipated that the men would do something shockingly shameful with all that drinking going on. When men drink non-stop, nothing is safe, especially women.

On the seventh day of the second feast, after Xerxes had been drinking for six months and a week, he sent seven men to get me, ordering me to wear only my royal crown on my head. Imagine my horror at such scandalous antics! He wanted all the men to see me “buck naked” so that he could brag about how beautiful his woman was!

My opinion about that situation is that everybody knows I’m pretty, the very name “Vashti” means beautiful woman. So when they told me Xerxes’ order, I said “Hell no!!” I think Xerxes is a fool. He “mustafagot” that I was royalty when he met me. Neither his marriage, nor his crown, made me a queen.

At any rate, my refusal to dance naked in front of Xerxes and company annoyed him so greatly that instead of coming to talk to me like normal husband and wife, he sought advice from his friends, “the lawyers”. Well, of course the lawyers considered his feelings from a legalist point of view rather than a matter of the heart. Those guys made sure they knew all polices, rules and laws because he always asked their advice about everything.

Jumping the gun just a bit, let me say, it’s always a bad sign when you ask a bunch of lawyers what you should do about your marriage. Their answer is always going to be “divorce”. Never turn your household affairs into affairs of the state. That’s a bunch of mess. I was trying to salvage my dignity and my home, it had nothing to do with those scandalous pharisaical imbeciles.

So, here we go, the eight highest positions in the entire empire decide to treat me like I’m a standing army ready to wage nuclear war. Now, just because I won’t parade myself around, stark naked and pregnant, in front of all the men in the country, this fool decided to penalize me. Those fools, all eight ‘em, decided to enact an irrevocable law stating that my refusal constituted a crime against all humanity. They said that every woman from Egypt to Istanbul would rebel against her husband when they learned that I refused to appear before the king. Well, it sounded stupid at the time, but in hindsight I can truly say that I understand that people need an example to follow when it comes to saying “no”. Somehow, people loose their ability to say “no” when they don’t have living examples to follow. But still, if I’da went to that fool without my clothes the next thang he’da wanted was for me to have sex with all those men; and, like I said, “I was a queen when he met me. I’m not about to screw no whole buncha men. If he wanted that kind of action, he should have hooked up with one o’ those skezzers at Aphrodite’s temple over at Corinth.”

Well, the new law stated that I would be forever banished from Xerxes’ presence and that he would choose another queen – one more worthy than me. So, Xerxes sent letters to all parts of the empire, to each province, proclaiming that every man should be the ruler of his home. Ha ha, that’s the stupidest thang I ever heard of. If he was really the leader of his own home, he would have talked to me rather than those fools he called his advisors. Every one of those idiots’ wives were here with me when the whole incident went down, so I can tell you first hand . . . well, second hand, that they all need to go home and have a little conversatin’ and communicatin’ instead of being so busy worrying about what I’m doing. To top it all off, when Xerxes divorced me, that wasn’t punishment, he set me free! I didn’t want to be bothered with him and his ill-mannered habits. I say, “Good reddens”.

Like I said earlier, for the last three thousand years, people have remembered me as a sorrowful divorcee, banished rebellion and vanity. But come on people, I’ve been waiting all these millennium to hear somebody, anybody, ask this one little question! What kind of man drinks for six months and a week then demands that his wife parade herself, pregnant, wearing only her crown and her birthday suit, in front of all his partners and servants?

Well, I’ll tell you what kind of man behaves like that. This all happened in the third year of Xerxes’ reign; but let me tell you what happened in the first two years. Xerxes centered his attention on a war with Greece that his father started. You can probably identify with that because I understand that you are in a war right now, on this very soil, because your leader wants to fight a war his father started. Well, Xerxes’ campaign was the largest movement of people of all time. People from all over the world were drafted to be part of this war. It was truly a world war.

Stores of provisions sufficient to support the immense army, were collected at different points along the intended route of the marching army and a bridge of boats that was at least a mile in length was constructed. The bridge of boats was destroyed by a storm. Da’ uh! The idiot Xerxes was so angry that the storm destroyed his little boat bridge that he ordered the heads of the bridge engineers to be cut off. Then, because he was so enraged at the rebellious and disrespectful sea, he ordered 300 lashes to be administered to it – to the sea! After he beat the sea with his whips, he ordered that a set of chains to be cast into the sea to contain it. Talk about living in a state of denial!

Through all that chaotic ship building, tinker toying, beating the sea action, it seems to me that somebody could have indicated to Xerxes that he was crossing the line of insanity. If I’da been there I’da told him to put “Jack back in the box.”

After that madness, Xerxes ordered another bridge. The second bridge consisted of a double line of boats to stabilize it better. This information came from the father of history himself, Herodotus. Herodotus said that the second bridge was so long, it took seven days and nights to march across it. Herodotus believed that the whole number of fighting men, military and naval amounted to 2,500,000, and the fleet consisted of 12O7 war ships of war, besides 3,000 smaller vessels. Herodotus also said that when he counted everybody there, it was considerably more that six million people. Like I said, you’d think that with six million people standing around, somebody would be bold enough to slip Xerxes a note, even if the note was anonymous. During his whole reign, I only remember two people, besides myself, bold enough to risk raising Xerxes’ ire: Bel Shimmeni and Shamash eriba.

Anyway, Xerxes’ suffered heavy losses, but he continued on and destroyed Athens. For that episode, the Greeks beat him and he ran like a wet dog. Xerxes proved to be utterly ignoble, vain, wicked, cruel and cowardly. The whole world can see that his famous invasion was carried out for the sole purpose of gratifying his weak-minded vanity – so that he could say that he had men and nations at his mercy.

In the end, this is not a story for women to use as a weapon against men for their history of abusing women, this story is about the conviction of a person and a refusal to be victimized. It’s about empowering people to do that which is right rather than that which appears easy. When it was all said and done, Xerxes died, I went back to the palace and reigned as queen mother with my son, King Artexerxes.

I believe that Xerxes knew how to treat Esther only because I taught him how to treat her. He didn’t want to be humiliated by loosing yet another beautiful woman. Read the story of Esther and her uncle/cousin Mordicai. Mordicai knew how to refuse Haman because I exemplified what it looked like to say “no” to a person of high authority. We have got to learn how to use our faith – the stuff that is the life’s blood of our conviction, to tell the world “no” when people desire to molest our dignity and our homes.

A major theme that I learned in this progression of circumstance: when a person torments one person in a family, that person, in fact torments all people in that family. This rule applies even if the tormentor is also a family member. If you, as a family member, don’t find a way to stop the harassment, your tormentor may destroy the whole family and each person therein. You may find that in order to salvage the individuals, one member may have to be dispose of – even if that member is the family leader. You see, depending on your perspective, Xerxes didn’t banish me from his house; Xerxes banished himself from his family. The proof is in the putting, It is well-established that my son, Artexerxes, was a wonderful family ma-en who was comfortable with himself and competent in his job as king. Had I allow Xerxes to behave miserably in front of my son, I would have been, by default, indorsing that sort of behavior and therefore, signifying to my son that it’s okay to act hideously.

People may try to victimize you, but you can stand victoriously in spite of the predator’s actions. Even if you have tears in your eyes and balled-up fists, don’t ever compromise your dignity. When God gives you a birthright, no man can take it away. Someone important is learning your example, so you better stand firm. Who knows, a whole nation of people may be depending on you to take a stand.

References

B.C. Publishing (2005). Biographical sketch of Queen Vashti. http://www.tfdixie.com/holidays/purim/002.htm. [Online] Retrieved October 25, 2005.

Herodotus (2003). A Commentary on Xerxes. http://www.herodotuswebsite.co.uk/xerxes.htm#Xerxes's%20reign. [Online] Retrieved October 15, 2005.

Life Application Bible (1988) The Holy Bible. Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. and Youth for Christ/USA, Wheaton, Illinois.

Wikipedia Encyclopedia (2005). Herodotus. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herodotus. [Online] Retrieved October 13, 2005.

Wikipedia Encyclopedia (2005). Tanakh. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanakh. [Online]. Retrieved October 13, 2005.